this turkey represents my responsibilities catching up to me
Turkeys are fucking dickheads. There’s a couple of them that live out back of my apartment. I’ve gotten into numerous staredowns with them. No fisticuffs (wingicuffs?) have been initiated yet, but it’s only a matter of time…
I find it’s often late at night, staring at a darkened ceiling, that I have some of my most profound thoughts. For instance: “Why did you drink that second coffee?” “Remember the part where you have to wake up in six hours and function?” “Why is it nobody recognizes Superman when he puts glasses on, yet this never works for me?” (But let’s be real. If ever there were a see-through disguise.)
People totally see through the disguise. But they also know that Superman has heat vision, and can melt holes in their heads with a glance. So no one says anything.